In general, the new generation has less value for friendship than do older generations. The new generation refers to people in their 20s and sometimes early 30s. Older people and the older they are have more value for friends and their friendships are very valuable to them. Of course, these are stereotypes and generalizations and do not apply to everyone! Here, however, we are referring to the majority of young individuals who do not value friendship as much as they should. In our culture friendship, or dosti, has always been regarded as invaluable. Indian movies show friends sacrificing their love for the happiness of their best friend. Who does this in real life? The bigger question is why? “Why” will answer the question of the reason behind the lack of value for friends, friendship, and the new generations take on it.
Let’s take a look at people in their 20s. This is often the modern desi. The modern desi living in the West can tend to have more Western rather than Indian morals and values instilled in them. They may enjoy speaking English with their desi friends which is fine. They may also prefer Western dress over Indian which makes sense if they are spending most of their time in school or work. So why doesn’t this generation value friendship? The answer is simple but not simple enough to explain. The reason is that it is so much easier to find new friends that youngsters do not feel a crucial need to cling to their old friends! Yes, indeed it is easier. Most people in their early 20s go to college and make friends there. Many desis value education so much that they pursue several more years of school thereafter and have another opportunity to make friends in grad school and beyond. Then there is the career. It usually starts in middle to late 20s for most people. This is where friends are made at work. Then of course there is the great world wide web that allows people to make friends online.
But what about our parents? How did they make friends? Well, if your parents also spent many years in school they may have made many friends there. Chances are they probably made friends in other ways as well. Especially our mothers. Our stay at home moms and homemakers that is! They make friends through their neighbors and community. They attended a mandir, masjid, or church and met new people in this way. Then they clung to their friends. How did your parents make friends?
Any new generation homemaker knows how difficult it is to find friendship. Let’s take Simran, for example. Simran is a 21 year old married woman. She is not in school and she does not work outside the home. This is no longer common in her particular generation. It is difficult for Simran to make friends because she’s not in school and most people her age are. Making friends online is out of the question because she does not want to talk to complete strangers on the internet. So how does Simran make friends. Perhaps through her local place of worship. This limits her in many ways. Even when she does find friends in her age range they are selfish individuals who do not value friends and friendships as does she. They are also going to school full-time and working. They do not have times for dinners and get-togethers. They don’t even have time for lunch or a movie sometimes. So poor Simran and the other few girls like her are stranded in this uncontrollable situation.
So who can we blame for this? Are parents giving their children the wrong upbringing? Is it appropriate for girls to stay unwed and go to school till their late 20s? What can people in Simran’s situation do? These questions are not easy to answer. Our values and traditions are not the same anymore. It is appropriate for women to have careers. It is also appropriate to not be married. But is it really appropriate? Apparently, not for all. What other causes are behind the new generations view on friendship?? Tell us what you think!
ARZOO MAG DOES NOT AGREE OR DISAGREE OR SIDE WITH ONE VIEW OR THE OTHER. THIS IS MERELY JUST TO GENERATE THOUGHTS AND IDEAS. PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS BUT PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT US SAYING THAT YOU THINK WE’RE WRONG. WE NEITHER AGREE NOR DISAGREE AND WE ARE NOT TAKING SIDES.
[photo credits: dishumdishum.com, desithreads.com, islamicity.com, mymym.com]
Tags: desi friends